I've had these thoughts stirring up in my mind for way too long now, and it's finally time to speak up and come clean. I feel like I'm getting too caught up in this whole 'blogging world'. I feel like I've lost sight of why I started this blog in the first place. Everything that consumes my mind these days is how many followers I have (on my blog, Instagram, etc.), how many 'likes' I get on my pictures, how many comments I get, and how it's never enough. I'm never as good as 'so and so', I'm never as pretty, I'm never as popular. This person has more followers than me, that person got way more 'likes' on their picture than me, this person's style is way better than mine... It's taking over my life in such a negative way. I'm tearing myself down. I literally get sad about the amount of 'likes' I get on Instagram pictures. I'm embarrassed that others will think I'm a loser. Yeah, it's that bad. This isn't what it should be like. This isn't how I should feel. This isn't what I thought it would be.
I'm the worst offender of comparing myself to others. Other bloggers are better. What am I bringing to the table? Am I really that creative or innovative? Cool, I can wear pants and a top. Who cares? But I didn't even start this blog with the intentions of being the best there is. I didn't care about followers, likes, or comments. I started it because I wanted to share my life and personal style with my family and friends. Nothing less, nothing more. I wanted to inspire women to be comfortable with themselves in their own skin, and I feel like somewhere along the way, I lost that. I can't even tell you guys how many times I have thought about quitting. There are so many other bloggers out there, that it's nearly impossible to not look at all of them and think, well, what makes me so special? But the truth is: I am special.
I'm special because I'm real. I'm special because, just like you, I have days where I hate looking in the mirror. I'm special because I am who I am. Somehow I've convinced myself that I'm not all that special, and I've realized I'm completely being the biggest hypocrite. I'm here to make YOU feel beautiful, when I'm feeling nothing but ugly inside. Life isn't about how many 'likes' you get on pictures or how many followers you have on your blog. It doesn't define you! I don't know why it has taken me so long to realize that. I feel like blogging (to me) has turned into a race or a game of 'Keeping up with the Jones'' when in reality, it all doesn't matter. I love blogging and love the people I have gotten to meet through blogging, and just for that reason, I will always be grateful for it. I'm wiping my hands clean of the crazy lady in me. Life will go on if I don't have thousands of 'likes' on a photo. Right?! ... ;)
I know that was incredibly long, but I feel like it's something I've needed to get off my chest for some time now. After all, that's what blogging is for right? It's just a journal that I get to share with all of you. And it's so wonderful that I get to do that. I love all of you so much, you have no idea! Thank you for always supporting me through this little blog of mine.
such a great post.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy! You're always so kind.
DeleteI wrote something exactly like this today! Girl, we are the same. Life with stuff like that is so hard. I'm with you! Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteXO
Love Me, Dani Marie
How funny! We got ourselves in this crazy blogging world, now we all gotta stick together! Thanks girl!
DeleteI agree :) I wrote a post like this not too long ago :)
ReplyDeleteHow funny! I'm going to have to go read it!
DeleteYou're so great, Jody. I absolutely loved this post! And I've always loved your posts.. I know every blogger compares themselves to "more established" bloggers. I'm definitely guilty of all of this!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, girl! Just know what you're bringing to the blogging world is top notch in my book.
Aw, thanks girl!! You are seriously so sweet. Love you for saying that!
DeleteYou are such an inspiration for you blogging the way you do and posting this post. It takes a special kind of person to just lay it all out there the way you did. I am so happy that you were able to get it all off your chest. I've been reading your blog since I started blogging and I love it. I enjoy reading your posts, I hope you never stop posting. I think numbers are just numbers, real follower is what matters. Real followers are the people that have commented on this post and real followers are the followers that come back day after day. Keep your head up girl, we enjoy your blog.
ReplyDeleteYou just totally make my day! Thank you so much girl!! You're totally right.
DeleteI am a blogger and everything you stated is what I myself have been struggling with. It's so hard not to compare ourselves and our work to what others are doing but I am trying to anyway. And to remind myself that I will NEVER be someone else. I will always be me. And that makes me and want I offer unique and special. I am such a goal-oriented person that sometimes I let that consume my thoughts. I've also come to terms that I may never be the biggest baddest blog on the block and that's okay. But it's an ongoing inner dialogue that I often have to repeat when I find myself obsessively checking my Instagram page for likes.
ReplyDeleteIt really is a constant struggle and battle. So it's good to just take a moment and remember what really matters. Thanks for your nice comment!
DeleteAw, so glad to hear you say that! As long as we remember we're doing it for ourselves, that's all that matters!
ReplyDeleteOk yes to everything!!! I know exactly how you feel and I'm so sick of feeling this way. I've become obsessed and I hate it! Idk what you're talking about with instagram though. You're like the insta queen! You have a lot more followers than me and you ALWAYS get way more likes haha. But ya. I'm never skinny enough or pretty enough or popular enough and it's stupid because I started my blog for fun as a hobby. I remember how psyched out of my mind I was to get 100 followers lol I want to go back to what this whole thing started as and just have fun and be happy with this hobby of mine as it is! Cuz really everything else like followers and likes and collaborations are just icing on the cake! And meeting you was one of the best perks of this blogging thing :) love you girl!! Thanks for posting this!
ReplyDeleteJessi
Yes, yes, and yes! I wholeheartedly agree with you! I'm an on again, off again blogger for that reason. Because I can't keep up and trying to keep up only makes me look down on myself, which is very sad. I love blogging, I love sharing my thoughts in writing, I think I can be pretty amusing at that. But I will never be a fashion blogger, no matter how much I love to get dressed, because my style will never be "as good as..." and my pictures will never be "as petty as..." and that is not what I want my blogging experience to be. Thank you for being you, and for sharing these thoughts with us. You are beautiful. :)
ReplyDeletexo,
P.
{Visit me at Mommyhood, PhD}
Don't you worry Jody! There are plenty of blog followers like me who comment very rarely and don't officially follow, but love your posts just the same and use them for inspiration regularly. I would be friends with you in real life in a heart beat! Just keep doing what you do best: being yourself :)
ReplyDeletelove this! its so easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, especially in the blogging and social media world where the numbers are all over the place. its definitely is important to be true to yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks!
ReplyDeletexo. jenn @ hello, rigby!
thanks for sharing :) totally know how you feel!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree, it can be so hard to not constantly compare and feel like you're not good enough or whatever. Just try to remember that blogging really doesn't matter, it's not at all what defines you or makes you who you are. Speaking as someone that has met you in person, I know that you are a kind person and a beautiful girl on the outside and on the inside and that matters a whole lot more than being poplular!! I wish people got followers based on their kindness or character instead of based on their budgets or beauty.:)
ReplyDeletexoAmy
www.dreamingincashmere.com
Thank you so much for being so honest and candid! Im completely new to this blogging thing and I already know how you feel. It's difficult sometimes to take a step back and put things in perspective. At the end of the day what matters is that you're being true to yourself and that your happy with the quality of the content your putting out there! If it;s good enough for you, it's good enough. So happy I stumbled upon your blog on this Sunday evening :) I will definitely be following along girl!
ReplyDeletexo, Christina
http://www.thestylebit.com/