BROOKS REMINGTON BAIRD - A BIRTH STORY

A month ago today was the best day of our lives. Our beautiful baby boy was born. After 3 1/2 years of infertility, a single moment made everything all worth it. The moment I first laid my eyes on him is a moment I will never ever forget.

I had been having contractions off and on that whole week. I actually went to the hospital that Tuesday thinking I could be in labor because my contractions were pretty close together. Unfortunately they sent me home after almost two hours of walking around labor and delivery because I wasn't progressing. I felt so sad, disappointed, and just straight up exhausted at that point. I remember coming home from the hospital and taking a hot shower and just crying. As much as I loved being pregnant, I was just ready to meet my baby.

I worked the rest of that week, and said my goodbyes that Friday, hoping that would put good baby vibes into the universe. My boss told me, "Hey, I love ya, but I better not see you on Monday." And sure enough, he didn't. Later that night we were at my in-laws for dinner, and I kept having contractions. They were consistently getting worse, but still bearable. My mother in law was in the middle of teaching us how to do infant CPR when they started getting worse. They were harder to breathe through, harder to talk through--everything they told us in our childbirth class. On our drive home they kept getting more painful and closer together. I decided to just lay on the couch when we got home to see if they would go away with rest. I was not about to go to the hospital only for them to send me home again! I needed to be sure. My contractions were progressively getting worse and my husband finally made the decision. It was time.

We arrived at the hospital around 11 that night and I was dilated to a 5 and 90% effaced. They had me walk around for about 20 (unbearable) minutes, and then I was dilated to a 6. My contractions were pretty bad at that point, and I was so ready for my epidural! As soon as they admitted me to a room, the anesthesiologist came in shortly after and gave me the good stuff. I was honestly the most scared for the epidural, and it was so quick and painless, I don't know why I was so terrified! It was an absolute godsend. We all tried to get some rest as my labor progressed, but I was just too excited to sleep at all. Finally at 8 that next morning, I was ready to start pushing.

The pushing was the hard part. It would have been fine if it was an hour, even two hours, but that third hour was the most insane thing of my life. I just felt so defeated. I felt like I LITERALLY couldn't do it anymore. My hands were shaking every time I had to push, they were too weak to even grip the handle bars at that point. There was no way I could have done it without Taylor right by my side, coaching me through it all. He was the absolute best. He counted through my pushes every single time. He was the best coach. I was getting so nervous that the doctor would have to use a vacuum to get him out. His head was turned to the side, so the doc had to go in and turn his head down. After that, things seemed to go a little smoother. Every push I was closer and closer, then I could see his head! The doctor let me touch his head and it was the craziest thing ever! A couple more pushes and there he was. The most perfect human with the fullest head of HAIR! I instantly fell in love. This kind of love that you just can't explain. This overwhelming, heart-bursting, adrenaline inducing kind of love. I was uncontrollably sobbing my eyes out. I couldn't stop. It was the happiest, most exhausting moment of my life. When they put him on my chest, this calm came over him and he just laid there. He was with his mama. Our little Brooks boy. I had never felt more at peace. And everything was perfect. Until it wasn't.

They moved us to our postpartum room shortly after delivery, and we were all just enjoying our time with the baby. About an hour later, they had to take him for a minute to do some tests, and the nurse came back and told us his temp was too low, so they had to put him under some lights. It sucked he didn't get more time with us, but we were okay, since it didn't seem too concerning. I tried to get some rest after everyone had left, but the nurse came knocking about 15 minutes later. She said he had a heart murmur and his oxygen levels were low, so they needed to keep him longer and monitor him. THEN she proceeded to come in later and tell us his blood sugars were low and that he needed to be on antibiotics. I hated that nurse (I later loved her so much, but hated her at that moment) because she just kept bringing in more and more bad news. Every time I heard a knock on our door, I thought it would be someone bringing our baby back. The next knock was one of the residents working that day. He sat down and explained to me, in my completely exhausted state after being awake for 36 hours and delivering a baby a few hours before, that Brooks would have to be in the NICU because the nursery would not be able to monitor him with everything that was going on with him. I immediately starting crying. The guy probably thought I was a mess! But I was. Like why was all of this happening?! I just had him in my arms a few hours ago and he was perfect, but they kept telling me otherwise. It was the hardest thing. A few hours later though, the nurse came back and let me know that they were going to actually keep him in their "special" nursery (I seriously can't remember what they called it) that was like a step under the NICU, but with more personal attention. They only had Brooks and one other baby in there the whole time, so they watched him closely. They had to wheel me back there every time I had to feed him, and that itself was so hard. I was so exhausted, running on no sleep, and I had to sit in a wheelchair for a good hour while he tried to nurse. We had a hard time with that as well because of course he had a freaking tongue tie!

We really did not think we were going to be able to bring him home with us because of everything going on with him. Then on top of it all, he was jaundice as well, so the last day he was on bilirubin lights all night and morning. If his levels didn't go down he would have to stay at the hospital. Luckily, a few hours after we got discharged, they let us know we would be able to bring him home that day! He would have to be on the bilirubin lights at home, but at least he would be home with us. We were so happy and excited. I was an emotional mess when we got home, but that's a post for a whole other day. ;)

Life with Brooks has been the best. It was hard at first, and still is so hard, but I think we're finally getting the hang of things around here. Even though labor and delivery was so difficult, it was also beautiful and amazing. I'm just so glad he's here safe and healthy. We love him so, so much.